actors mindset

My winning Lotto numbers

My winning Lotto numbers

7, 21, 37, 49, 63

You’re welcome.

I’m totally cool sharing because tomorrow, those numbers are gonna win me the Mega-Millions.

But right now, I’m dreaming about what I’ll do with all.that.cash.

And how it’s going to feel when I hear the numbers, and I can’t believe I have the winning ticket. I’ll probably check and re-check it 57 times.  

And then I’ll definitely scream and cry.  And laugh hysterically. Maybe all at the same time.

But I’ll also be super freaked out that I might lose the ticket, so things could get weird. Don’t come over tomorrow night.  

Why I walked away from my lucrative Wall Street job

Why I walked away from my lucrative Wall Street job

I dreamed of being an actor for a long time. But no one knew it, and I didn't pursue it.

Instead, I choose to bury my passion in exchange for a full-time sales & trading job at a Wall Street Bank.

I still tried to act when I could get away with it. But it was hard. REALLY hard.

It wasn’t ok for me to leave the desk for much more than grabbing lunch. In fact, I got reprimanded once for taking my daughter to the doctor for a sudden body rash.

So, you can imagine how much I dreaded getting calls from my agent. Calls meant auditions which meant I had to lie. And lying meant a giant pit in my stomach for days.

This is so embarrassing...

This is so embarrassing...

I'm about to get personal.

Because...my second Most Embarrassing Story happened in the bathroom.

It wasn’t that someone walked in on me.

It wasn’t that I tucked my dress into my pantyhose.

It was about karate.

Don't send me an email like this...

Don't send me an email like this...

I used to have a massive crush on Jon Bon Jovi.  

Who didn’t?  

That hair. The swagger. How his lips lingered on the microphone when he sang…

He was the ultimate heartthrob and he made me want to be a singer. Because then I had a chance of touring with him.  

Why not dream big, right?

But what I really wanted to be was Little Orphan Annie and I thought I had a good shot. I had the hair and I loved the songs.  

So I auditioned when the musical came to town.

How to shift your thinking about rejection

How to shift your thinking about rejection

I recently got back from 3 weeks on Oahu, which is where I grew up. My childhood home is about 100 yards from Kailua Beach, and one of my favorite activities is to get up early and amble down the lane to watch the sunrise over the ocean.

On my first morning, I got down to the beach extra early and dutifully watched for the sun behind a cluster of clouds on the horizon.  It was the weirdest thing, though. The sky kept getting brighter and brighter, but still no sun.

Hmm.  

Turns out, I was looking in the wrong place.

Do you need to break up with yourself?

Do you need to break up with yourself?

You’re not going to believe this, but I just listened to my first episode of This American Life about 6 weeks ago.

And oh.my.god.  Where has this been all my life? 

The episode I heard was Act One of "The Breakup," with special guest Phil Collins. It was a cascade of belly laughs, tears and or warm fuzzy feelings that took me right back to the 80s. 

Because Phil Collins was a big part of my life back then. 

kismet

kismet

I got new headshots recently and I was terrified.

Headshots are one of those things that, as an actor, you KNOW you have to do but it’s so freaking stressful because “what will I wear” and “how many looks do I need?” and “what if my hair doesn’t cooperate?”

All the things that make you say no.

I’d actually needed new headshots for a while. But I kept putting it off.

Then...I started a trial run with a new manager and the first thing she asked me was whether or not I would consider new headshots.

Ugh. I believe in kismet, so I knew it was time.

So I booked it.  

Remember your why

Remember your why

If you read my blog post, “The power of being naive”,  several weeks back, then you know that I went to the University of Michigan and that I’m pretty much obsessed with it.  #goblue.

I wish the Wolverines had won the NCAA tournament, but I was still blown away by the way the team played.

It was freaking impressive by all accounts.  

But what I loved the most, was how the coach, John Beilein, responded to a reporter’s question after their loss for the title.  His words speak volumes about him as a coach and mentor for those young men. He said:

Wanna cut through the noise? Do this.

Wanna cut through the noise? Do this.

I got a great question recently from an actor named Josh Berresford and wanted to highlight it here, because I think this is one that comes up for a lot of people... including me.

Here’s what he asked:

How do we deal with all of the bloggers, educators etc. out there, and be able to extract what will help us most and not be inundated with so much and so many to choose from?

Here’s my (very stream-of-consciousness) response:

Dad's Life Lessons

Dad's Life Lessons

I stole this blog from my Dad.  

Kind of.

His “blog” was actually a hand-written letter he wrote to my brother who was about to start college as a pre-med student.

The anniversary of my dad’s death is on the 29th, and it's always comforting to read this letter. I love reading his words and “hearing” his voice, even though the letter wasn’t meant for me.  

The letter has multiple references toward being pre-med, of course, but I have added alternate ideas in brackets. But I’ve left most of it unchanged (including all of this underlined words!), because his points have remarkable relevance for just about anyone’s path in life, including as actors.

Be Curious (or...what would you ask for if you knew you'd get it?)

Be Curious (or...what would you ask for if you knew you'd get it?)

I was 8 when my brother was born.

I’m pretty sure I thought my parents had him because I’d asked them to.  And this *might* actually be true.

Every Christmas I asked for two things. A  miniature, real car (why??) and a Baby Alive doll.

I never got either.

How Barre Class Reset My Self-Talk

How Barre Class Reset My Self-Talk

I think we can all agree there’s not enough time in a day.

So in an effort to “add more time” to my own day, I decided to get up at an hour earlier, at 5:45,  to exercise. I know, I know, 5:45 a.m. is NOT that early...and especially since I spent 18 years getting up at 3:45am when I worked in the bond market. But, times change (no pun intended).

In the first few minutes of my 6:30 barre class, when I couldn’t sustain a plank for a full minute, I got frustrated and started berating myself for not being as strong as I should be or letting the early morning get to me.  My mind said, “You’re better than this.”

And then my heart said,  “Hey! I woke up at 5 freaking 45 to be here.  Isn’t that kinda awesome? And even if I only get 80% of the benefit, isn’t that better than not working out at all?

And slowly, my mindset shifted.  And while I still didn’t feel as strong as I normally do, I felt pretty dang proud of myself for being there at all.

You're Focusing on the Wrong Things

You're Focusing on the Wrong Things

One of my friends was just diagnosed with cancer.  

Actually, she got the diagnosis a month ago, but she's still waiting to find out what kind of cancer it is so they can start treatment.

One month!

Can you imagine sitting with the knowledge that you have cancer, even just for one day, and not being able to attack it?

My friend and her family’s whole world came crashing down when they got that news, and I expect, all the pent-up “shoulda coulda woulda worry clutter,” too.  

Because there’s only one thing that matters now:  there is a friend, mother, daughter, aunt, and wife who is about to start the fight of, and for, her life.    

So, what a waste of time and embarrassment that I’m stressed that I didn’t get far enough through my to-do list, didn’t exercise, or didn’t book that commercial.   

I’m trying to keep it all in perspective.