actor mindset

My winning Lotto numbers

My winning Lotto numbers

7, 21, 37, 49, 63

You’re welcome.

I’m totally cool sharing because tomorrow, those numbers are gonna win me the Mega-Millions.

But right now, I’m dreaming about what I’ll do with all.that.cash.

And how it’s going to feel when I hear the numbers, and I can’t believe I have the winning ticket. I’ll probably check and re-check it 57 times.  

And then I’ll definitely scream and cry.  And laugh hysterically. Maybe all at the same time.

But I’ll also be super freaked out that I might lose the ticket, so things could get weird. Don’t come over tomorrow night.  

Why I walked away from my lucrative Wall Street job

Why I walked away from my lucrative Wall Street job

I dreamed of being an actor for a long time. But no one knew it, and I didn't pursue it.

Instead, I choose to bury my passion in exchange for a full-time sales & trading job at a Wall Street Bank.

I still tried to act when I could get away with it. But it was hard. REALLY hard.

It wasn’t ok for me to leave the desk for much more than grabbing lunch. In fact, I got reprimanded once for taking my daughter to the doctor for a sudden body rash.

So, you can imagine how much I dreaded getting calls from my agent. Calls meant auditions which meant I had to lie. And lying meant a giant pit in my stomach for days.

Ruggedly handsome chocolate?

Ruggedly handsome chocolate?

I was at an weekend retreat recently and wanted chocolate. No surprise there.  

What was surprising was that when I walked into the meeting room a bit later, it was like someone had read my mind. There were bags of Ruggedly Handsome Cowboy Bark all over the table!

Oh wait…

It was actually called Ruggedly Adventuresome Cowboy Bark.  

I was sooo disappointed. Buttttt,  it made me realize that I see the things I want to see sometimes.

And so do you.

Do you need to break up with yourself?

Do you need to break up with yourself?

You’re not going to believe this, but I just listened to my first episode of This American Life about 6 weeks ago.

And oh.my.god.  Where has this been all my life? 

The episode I heard was Act One of "The Breakup," with special guest Phil Collins. It was a cascade of belly laughs, tears and or warm fuzzy feelings that took me right back to the 80s. 

Because Phil Collins was a big part of my life back then. 

kismet

kismet

I got new headshots recently and I was terrified.

Headshots are one of those things that, as an actor, you KNOW you have to do but it’s so freaking stressful because “what will I wear” and “how many looks do I need?” and “what if my hair doesn’t cooperate?”

All the things that make you say no.

I’d actually needed new headshots for a while. But I kept putting it off.

Then...I started a trial run with a new manager and the first thing she asked me was whether or not I would consider new headshots.

Ugh. I believe in kismet, so I knew it was time.

So I booked it.  

Chasing Fear

Chasing Fear

When I was younger I was a bit of a  daredevil. I don’t know if it was actually me, or if it was just that the Oahu terrain practically required it.

There were countless deep mountain pools and waterfall cliffs to be jumped from. Lots of skinny-ridged hikes with plateaus in the clouds, and dark caves and deep jungles begging to be explored.  

And if I’m being really honest, my most harrowing cliff jump happened only because my ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend jumped first.  

I was not going to be outdone. 😬 #competitive

What Spanx taught me about acting

What Spanx taught me about acting

You know that horrible dream when you’re trying to make an emergency phone call but you keep hitting the wrong numbers? Or the one when you arrive at a posh wedding or high school reunion and realize you forgot to shower and are still in your sweaty workout clothes

Frustrating, right?

It’s a bit how I felt after I drove to my first audition in LA only to find out, after the fact, that they decided to go non-union.  

Luckily, there was a HUGE bright side to my 14-hour drive.


Busy doing nothing?

Busy doing nothing?

I walked by a house the other day that still had its Christmas lights up.  I get it, those perpetually tangled strings are a complete pain in the butt to put up and take down every year.

But this house also had a giant snowman on the front porch, surrounded by fake presents and oversized ornaments. I didn’t see a garage, which means the owners walk by these decorations every day.

And every day, they choose NOT to take them down.  

It’s all about choices.

And just like the owners of that house, you’re making choices every second of every single day.  

It’s a bit heady to think of your acting career unfolding in a series of snap decisions, isn’t it?  

Wanna cut through the noise? Do this.

Wanna cut through the noise? Do this.

I got a great question recently from an actor named Josh Berresford and wanted to highlight it here, because I think this is one that comes up for a lot of people... including me.

Here’s what he asked:

How do we deal with all of the bloggers, educators etc. out there, and be able to extract what will help us most and not be inundated with so much and so many to choose from?

Here’s my (very stream-of-consciousness) response:

Be Curious (or...what would you ask for if you knew you'd get it?)

Be Curious (or...what would you ask for if you knew you'd get it?)

I was 8 when my brother was born.

I’m pretty sure I thought my parents had him because I’d asked them to.  And this *might* actually be true.

Every Christmas I asked for two things. A  miniature, real car (why??) and a Baby Alive doll.

I never got either.

How Barre Class Reset My Self-Talk

How Barre Class Reset My Self-Talk

I think we can all agree there’s not enough time in a day.

So in an effort to “add more time” to my own day, I decided to get up at an hour earlier, at 5:45,  to exercise. I know, I know, 5:45 a.m. is NOT that early...and especially since I spent 18 years getting up at 3:45am when I worked in the bond market. But, times change (no pun intended).

In the first few minutes of my 6:30 barre class, when I couldn’t sustain a plank for a full minute, I got frustrated and started berating myself for not being as strong as I should be or letting the early morning get to me.  My mind said, “You’re better than this.”

And then my heart said,  “Hey! I woke up at 5 freaking 45 to be here.  Isn’t that kinda awesome? And even if I only get 80% of the benefit, isn’t that better than not working out at all?

And slowly, my mindset shifted.  And while I still didn’t feel as strong as I normally do, I felt pretty dang proud of myself for being there at all.