Finding Your Core Qualities

My goal with this post is to help you uncover your Core Qualities by getting you to think outside the box a bit. Core Qualities are not things like, "I'm a dog person" or "I'm kind".  Rather, they are what influences how you think, feel and behave which thereby shapes the way you see the world.  

Your talents will help you understand who you are.  They describe you, they influence your choices, they direct your actions, and they explain why you're better at some things than others.  

I believe, that by discovering your talents you can tap into your greatest potential for success.

How do you get things done or make things happen?   

Are you a doer? determined? focused? orderly? A list-maker or checker-offer?

Maybe you’re just great at setting goals and going for it.  

Or maybe you’re like an actor from my the beta test of my Masterclass who sees the future picture bright and clear but doesn’t quite see the steps to get there.  

Or maybe you’re like one of my private clients who also saw the end result clearly, but who was so frustrated she couldn’t just get there instantly, that it paralyzed her. For what it's worth, we ended up reverse engineering her goal into tiny little micro-wins so she didn’t get overwhelmed and lose patience with the process. 

Or maybe you’re the kind of person who has an idea and just goes for it with the willingness to make mistakes, course-correct and try again.

For example:  One of my Core Qualities is Responsibility.

For me, it means that I do what I say I’m going to do.  If I commit to something, even if drives me crazy after the fact, I have to come through with my end of the bargain. If for some reasons I don’t or can’t, I  feel really shitty about it and end up over-promising and over-delivering on the make-it-to-you thing.

This is just who I am and how I’m wired.  It’s also why, when I asked friends and family to give me three adjectives that describe me, 70% of them said something along the lines of trustworthy, reliable, dependable &  loyal.

What qualities you use  to build and nurture relationships.

Are you friendly? empathetic? Do you connect easily or is it a slow build? Are you an introvert or extrovert?  Do you have a lot of friends and thrive and on making new ones? Or maybe you’re one who prefers to go deeper with a core group of people; Maybe some of those people you’ve known all your life.  

How easily do you meet new people? Are you a good listener? Can you read people? Do you talk more than you listen?

Look back at the close relationships in your life and think about how you met those people and how you built and nurtured that friendship.  What were the driving factors? Even if it was someone from Kindergarten and you don’t remember ever not being friends, how have you kept up the friendship all these years?  

What draws people to you? And how you connect with new people who come into your life?

One of my friends I met through a mutual connection and we bonded instantly over our shared Hawaiian roots, words we didn’t understand from a Kelly Clarkson song.   

Are people drawn to you because you love having fun and are the life of the party?  Or are they drawn to you because you listen and really hear what they’re saying?

None of these are better or worse than the other. They’re all just clues to how you move through the world.  

How do you influence others?

Are you an instigator? inspiring? confident?  powerful? Are you competitive?

Maybe you’re an excellent storyteller and  have a gift of being able to communicate. Maybe you love words.  Maybe you love meeting new people and always seem to know the right thing to say.  Or maybe you’re the kind of person where the whole room falls silent when you start talking?

One of my students influences people by buidling rapport with them. Her friends go to her for advice because she’s a  good listener. They feel heard and when she gives advice, her friends know she has thought it through.

Maybe you influence people by your sheer excitement and zest for  life.

An executive of a small tech firm I’ve coached influences people by commanding a room. He doesn’t try to command the room, it just oozes from him.  He has such presence it’s palpable, and others in the room automatically listen to him and give what he says credence.

A close friend of mine is a high extrovert and influences people because she’s so damn fun to be around and loves meeting new people. Have a party to go to and hate making small talk? Bring this woman.

How do you  think about, absorb and analyze information?

If I asked you to tell me which solar company to use and whether I should lease or buy, how would you think about this?  

Maybe you’re like my husband and you’ll gather all the facts and put in a nice spreadsheet.  Or maybe you’ll be like me and either go with the guy who seemed the nicest, or just go with the first guy who shows up, becuase you just don’t want to deal anymore.   

Now imagine you’re talking with a bunch of friends and need to respond to an  important question someone asked. Do you blurt out your answer and hope it was on point?  Or are you a bit intuitive and able to read people well and sense how they’re feeling so you know just what to say?

What about the processing of information? I have to write things down, even if I don’t plan to read them again.

I also process information and make creative decisions  by going on walks and giving myself space to be alone and just think.  It’s an almost meditative experience for me.

So what do you think… are you analytical? a fact-finder?  a thinker? strategic? Intuitive? A feeler?

Alright, that’s it for today!!  I hope this helped crystallize your thinking and you’ve come up with or clarified some of your Core Qualities.

A bit of warning:  Don’t let perfection get in the way of progress.  

If you’re still stuck on identifying your CQs, email me at and I will help you out!